A trip to the Alps

I took a very enjoyable trip to the Alps in September 2003. It was the first time I'd taken a bike abroad, and it turned out to be my longest end-end trip to date. I know thousands of have done it before but as it was new to me and something I want to remember I've taken the time to write it up.

In a nutshell...

I wasn't too sure where I was going and the route materialised along the way. The first leg was Cardiff to Munich in two days. Stopped there overnight then began what turned into the six day "Alp tour". Going south from Munich I was aiming to travel westwards and southwards. The rough plan was to take in as many passes as possible, eventually ending up in the South of France (sea & sun). I chose the route pass-by-pass as I went. In three days I was in Argentiere just over the French border and changed the plan, going back east again (had remembered why I stopped going to France, plus Italy, Austria and Germany seemed much more attractive). I continued to make up the route as I went, backtracking over some of the best bits so far and continuing further south and east into the Dolomites before turning northwest and leaving the alps to the east of the Ahlberg pass in another three days. Spent the last two days retracing the route from Munich to Dunkerque to Cardiff.

Total distance traveled 3255 miles (5241 Km) in 10 days; average mpg 46.33

The decision

Sometime in 2003 -around mid July, during a wet trip to Ireland with my teenage kids and estranged wife, it came to me that I had several weeks of holiday to use up by the end of the year and I should do something about it. To be honest, Ireland wasn't a bad place but it's another story.

The first thought was something involving sun and sangria (forget the sex) but the sight of many bikers touring the Irish roads got me to thinking about something more adventurous. Since returning to motorcycling in 2001 I've enjoyed longer rides -weekend outings are rarely less than a hundred miles, often two to three hundred. I'd daydream about trips with overnight stops but hadn't ventured to turn them into reality. So, why not spend a few days away on the bike? I decided that September, just after the kids went back to school would be a good time -the summer season would be past its peak but with luck the weather wouldn't be too bad. Where to go? -south of course. How far south? -how far can you get in 10 days?

Planning and preparation

What did I need to do to get the bike ready? It had a shade over 27000 miles on the clock. It had been running well and I'd been keeping up with the maintenance so apart from an oil and filter change there didn't seem much else to do. Next question was what to take? The bike has touring panniers and a top box rack but no top box. I planned on a combination of camping and staying in cheap hotels so I'd need a tent, sleeping bag and foam mat. I'd need a couple of changes of underwear and something to wear off the bike. I'd also need an assortment of bike clobber to cope with varying temperatures and moisture levels. The inventory was roughly as follows:

Rucksack with change of clothes, towel, toilet bag, basic first aid
Warm inners for jacket & trousers, thermal vest, pullover, thermal inner gloves
Small tent, sleeping bag, foam mat, bivvy bag
Spare keys
Disc lock
BMW tool kit + tyre inflator
Torch, camera, phone, pocket PC for notes. book in case I got bored
Passport, driving license, travel insurance, wallet, map
Helmet,jacket, touring pants, gloves, shades, boots etc.

I'd searched around on the net for options for the Channel crossing. I was planning to go from Dover on the shortest, cheapest route I could find. www.ferrysavers.com was a good starting point -you plug in the start and end points and the days you want to travel and they give you a list of priced options. Norfolk Line from Dover to Dunkirk (2hrs) was the cheapest at £99 return; next most expensive was Sea France from Dover to Calais at £135 return (1hr30mins); Eurotunnel was most expensive at a staggering £205! I chose Norfolk Line. Like other ferry companies they use a paperless ticketing system and booking was confirmed with an email containing a magic number to be quoted when you get to the boat.

The trip diary

That's how I imagined it... so what really happened?

Wednesday 3rd

Set of at 5:30. At the last minute I decided the tent was going to be too much of a hassle; sod it, I'll pay for a bit of comfort!

Taking it easy, sticking to the speed limits and aiming to stop for a couple of breaks for the sake of my wrists, which had been suffering quite badly after a recent long trip. By the time I got to the M25 it became clear that due to the leisurely pace there was a serious chance I'd be missing the boat! Once the variable speed limits were behind me the speedo needle was stuck at a shade under the ton for the rest of the way.

Got to the port at 9:30 on the dot and had just enough time to get the bike tied down and walk upstairs before the boat started moving. First impression of Norfolk Line (the cheapest option)? -good; the guy who tied down the bike took time to do it properly and checked I was happy with it; the coffee was drinkable and reasonably priced; the seating areas were in a good state of repair. My impression was also helped by the boat only being about half full (Weds morning in Sept) and the bright sun shining on a calm English Channel. We docked at Dunkirk bang on time.

One of the few must-dos that I'd planned for the trip was a visit to the grave of my dad's elder brother, who died in battle in 1918. This was something I'd thought of doing for many years. His grave is in the military cemetery at Esquelbeq, about 20km south of Dunkirk. After a few wrong turnings I found the village and both the cemetery and gravestone easily. I won't say more about how it felt but I'd recommend everyone spend a few minutes in one of these quiet, beautifully looked after places.

At a service stop on the A25 I met my twin -another Brit on a red 1100rs heading south. Smiles and good wishes lifted my spirits.

Most of the afternoon was spent travelling on as far as Charleroi. Weather good, roads good, flat agricultural landscape. I'd reserved a room in a Formule 1 "hotel" but completely misunderstood the directions and wasted the best part of an hour and a gallon of petrol going up and down the A42 looking for the right exit. Got there in the end.

Ended the day knackered, 433 miles on the trip, bike in one piece, wondering why I'm here, aiming for an early start.

Thursday 4th

I slept very well until about 5:00am when other residents started to get up. Once I'd got used to the sounds I had no difficulty dropping back off. Finally rose about 7:00. By the time I'd packed, had some breakfast and filled up the tank it was about 8:20. I felt well restored from a good night's sleep and what looked like perfect weather -chilly, heavy dew but clear blue overhead and the sense of autumn approaching.

I have to say I quite liked my first stay at a Formule 1. The room was small and you use communal shower and toilets but it was clean and the bed was comfortable -not bad for 27 euros. The optional 4 euro breakfast was also ok -as much coffee and bread and jam as you want. I'll probably stay in one again.

The morning's ride was just under 300mls through Luxembourg, the Mosel region, Saar, across the Rhine, stopping near Karlsruhe at lunchtime. The roads were generally excellent with light traffic on many stretches. You certainly need to keep looking behind for fast moving traffic -it's easy to find yourself in the outside lane at 90mph and seemingly out of the blue a Merc appears about 2 foot behind you (no doubt having hit the brakes quite hard). Lane changing is probably the biggest hazard on the autobahn, made worse on two lane stretches because of the big difference in speed between the two streams of vehicles.

I would take some more photos but the subject matter so far has been pretty unremarkable e.g. Motorway services, motorcycle in car park... The afternoon was pretty uneventful. It was warm and sunny and the road went on and on. Passed or was passed by several bikers. Got lots of waves and foot dangling from all except the Harley jockeys -what's up with them? Maybe they're too busy keeping the thing in a straight line to notice anything else.

Got to Munich late afternoon and spent the best part of an hour going round the ring road. First sight of alpine looking hills on the horizon. I'd also made a hotel reservation for tonight at an "Etap" (same chain as Formule1 but next level up -exciting!). After yesterday's difficulties finding the hotel I'd paid a lot more attention to the directions and after stopping a couple of times to check directions I found it first time. The hotel was on a busy road on the edge of a quiet residential area -lots of apartments, leafy roads, a park, a nursery, a church, a tram, people going home from work. Something about it reminded me of the story "The Tiger Who Came to Tea" -the author must have lived somewhere like this. Found a good supermarket and bought bread, cheese, fruit and beer for supper.

Mileage is now up to 954. So far the bike has worked faultlessly. I'm impressed by the panniers -plenty of room for one person's stuff -not sure what you'd do for two up.

Plan for tomorrow? Tomorrow will be different. No destination determined by a hotel reservation so I may cover a shorter distance -and I'll have to spend time in the evening looking for somewhere to stay. Will try to stay off the autobahn.

Friday 5th

My old dad's 103rd birthday.

A good night's sleep! The Etap was very quiet even though it was on a very busy road -I've stayed in a lot of hotels in the Accor chain and it's been the same in all of them. Nice rolls and coffee again for breakfast, retrieved the bike from the underground car park and hit the road at 9:00.

The plan was to get to Innsbruck by midday via the Aachen pass. The first half hour was spent cruising around the leafy suburbs of Munich looking for the way out. Eventually found myself on a deserted country road through rolling farmland and pine forest. Cresting a small hill I was treated to the first decent view of the alps under a clear blue sky -inspired to take the camera out at last. The Aachen pass is fairly low level but breathtakingly pretty. Stopped at a viewpoint by a turquoise lake and chatted to a German guy with a lovely 100RT -must get on with my RS to RT conversion. So many bikers here -so many Beemers here, and plenty of older ones. Lots of crazies too. No Brits -all Germans and Austrians.

I'd had a fantasy about lunch in a cafe in Innsbruck. The timing was OK but I couldn't find the cafe. Innsbruck is a pit -ugly, and no town centre that I could find. The next bit of plan formed -Brenner pass but via the old road (D812) not the autobahn. Twisties turned into broader curves. Stopped at that cafe I couldn't find in Innsbruck and had what I suppose is an Austrian hot dog -big crusty roll with 3 sausages, onions, mustard and curry powder.

The top of the pass is the border between Austria and Italy and the Italian side was a hive of commerce -shops, big open air market. Couldn't quite fathom what was going on -obviously some demand for goods from across the border. So the Aachen pass was low, the Brenner pass was higher but well tamed -where's the real stuff?

Try the Jaufen pass -take a left off the 812 at Vipiteno. These are roads like we've got in Wales -steep, winding, full of potholes. The pass was at about 2400m and the nip in the air reminded me of the Brecon Beacons -there was just a small matter of the view. Then down down down through smart looking ski resorts. After 20 km the country changed from alpine to warm valley with vineyards on the slopes. Late afternoon I turned off at Moreno and found myself in a place just bursting with small hotels. The first one I tried, the "Honeck" had a vacancy and I was treated to a room with a balcony and a view of the mountains. Evening meal in the restaurant next door and a couple of wheat beers finished the day off. I wish I could speak German. I think I'm in Italy but everyone speaks German. I think it's going to rain in the next day or so.

Mileage is up to 1126 -means I only did 172 today.

Saturday 6th

Passes, passes, passes.

Germanic breakfast at the Honeck -cheese, salami and yogurt. The weather was still dry but there were some clouds, especially around the mountain tops. Mine host had been very pleasant and went out of his way to make sure I knew the route to wherever I was going. Shame I didn't have much idea. Yesterday I'd taken a fancy to the Stelvio pass -though I didn't know what it was called. With the hotelier's help, poring over his map I got directions worked out. Like yesterday I had real trouble finding the way out of town. After several circuits and stopping to look at a map for sale at a newsagent's I finally worked out the escape route. The traffic for the first 20 miles was atrocious -it took the best part of two hours to get to the turn off for the pass. The road went through a valley full of apple orchards and schnapps distilleries. I had time to think and realized I was in what used to be the Austrian Tirol -now in Italy (me to mine host -"are we in Italy?" mine host "Ja" me "why does everyone speak German?" host "because until a few years ago this was Austria then it was given back to Italy -all to do with Hitler, Mussolini...").

The Stelvio was some climb -hairpins, up and up. The traffic was light now but lots of bikers -lots of GSs passing me on the inside on hairpins. Busy at the top -shops, bars, bikes, a procession of open top Mercs, a procession of Subarus. Lunch was a freshly barbied bratwurst and sauerkraut dog. Excellent stuff.

The road wound down -mad riding all around me!! Turned right at the bottom and up over the Foscagno pass. Empty and desolate. The sky was now completely grey and it was chilly. Dropped down to Livigno -busy with nowhere to park. Turned south and in a few miles came to the Swiss border. I'd expected to have to buy a "vignette" but was waved through. Took the road for St Moritz via the Bernino pass. The sun peeked out giving some welcome warmth. St. Moritz is probably lovely in sunshine or covered in snow -big lake and mountains all around. Today it was cold and grey -like Blaenau Ffestiniog in early December. Donned extra layers and took the Maloja pass down to Chiavenna. Dropping down the magnificent valley the cloud cleared and the temperature rose quickly. In just a few miles it went from 7 or 8C to the upper 20C and those layers were rapidly shed again! Crossing the border again Chiavenna was undoubtedly Italy. I thought about looking for accommodation but it was a little early... time for another pass.

Turned back north up the Spluga pass. This was the best so far. Warm sun for most of the way up, stunningly pretty valleys, road clinging to almost vertical cliffs and weaving in and out of tunnels where there wasn't anywhere else for the road to go. The top of the pass is just spectacular desolation -rock, sky and water. Back into Switzerland again. Border guards were stopping cars and asking for passports but again I was waved through. Down the zigzags through a herd of cows, wandering all over the road with their cowbells ringing.

It was after 6:00pm so at the next village, Splugen I looked for a hotel. Ended up in an odd concrete block of a place, hotel Practigiana -sort of youth hostel style, basic but with a local clientelle supping beer and quite welcoming.

I didn't cover huge mileage again today -something under 200 for a full day's travel.

Sunday 7th

Weather still holding out.

Easy start about 9:00 -Splugen is a small very alpine place out in the hills so it was easy to find the way out -only got lost once! Quiet roads gave quick progress. North then west towards Oberalppass. This was a slow burner -long run up with a worthwhile finish. Down into Andermatt. This must be the heart of alpineness -all clean and lovely, green fields around, cobbled streets throughout. Tried to buy petrol at a small high street garage and discovered that Swiss traders are happy to accept Euros -though the exchange rate may be decided on the spot and your change will be given in Swiss francs.

Where next? It was a toss up between the Gotthard and the Furka pass. Tried the Gotthard... thick cloud, cold. The pass has two roads -old and new; went south on the new big concrete highway (go there if you like concrete) and found myself heading south into Italy. Wrong direction and headed back on the old road (go here if you like cobbled hairpins). Returning to the top of the Gotthard in the cold grey cloud I decided to try the Furka pass. Spectacular or what? From the views back toward Andermatt to the view westward from the pass -this is a classic. Dropping down to Gletsch and looking back to the pass with its hanging glaciers was simply impressive.

From here I struck out westward to Brig and then Martigny with the idea of getting to France by evening. The road from Furka to Martigny was pretty boring -broad valley, initially home to ski resorts giving way to industry. Up from Martiqny was the col de Forclaz -less than 2000m but pretty with views of Mt Blanc. Took a detour to Barrage d'Emossan -better views of the Mont (worth turning off).

Stopped at Argentiere a few miles over the French border for the night. Nice old hotel -l'hotel de la Couronne. The desk was manned by a very old chap who insisted on showing me the room before I signed up. Very polite, very helpful, let me put the bike in his garage next to his car. Other than the hotel I don't like this place -too touristy and the beer is really expensive -maybe it's because it's France.... perhaps I'll go back east tomorrow, where the beer's cheaper.

It started raining this evening. More rain and thunder predicted.

Mileage today? 247; total so far 1553.

Monday 8th

Wet.

Shall I go east or west? Reasons to be in France? i) that was the plan ii) I can get by in French. Reasons to go east? i) more Alps ii) cheaper beer. I think I'll go back east.

The first few miles were rainy with some dense low cloud; by the time I got to Martigny it had eased off -cloud on the hills. I was aiming to get back to some high passes. My route was: Aigle then Col du Pillon - the Bernese Oberland ...Swisser than a chocolate cuckoo clock with green meadows, cows and chalets with window boxes full of geraniums. On to Gstaad then Interlaken with weather improving all the time.

Doubled back south through the Grimsel pass. The pass has a beautiful approach through a broad, flat valley then a great road up and lovely views of rocky peaks and a surreal reservoir through broken clouds from the top. Rain had fallen as snow on the higher hills swopped cameras for photos with a friendly Italian couple. Realized that my route had crossed yesterday's -I was looking back at the Furka pass. Decided to retrace yesterday's route -same passes but in opposite direction. Stopped on the way up to the Furka pass and climbed up above the car park to take photos of the glacier. Signs say it's the Rhone glacier -I put two and two together and realise this is the source of source of the river.

In the car park was a chap with a heavily loaded "B" reg /7. Struck up conversation and discovered he was actually from Poland -seems he bought the bike on a visit to the UK a couple of years ago and now keeps it back in Poland but hasn't bothered to change the registration details; I didn't press him on Polish legal requirements. We passed each other a couple of times during the afternoon, our routes diverging as he turned off towards the Gotthard pass and I continued on towards Andermatt.

Climbed up the Oberalp pass and followed the long slow descent towards Chur, returning to the Hotel Pratigiana at Splugen for the night. Dodgy moment over whether they had a vacancy; ended up in a very nice double room in the loft (hope they don't charge me extra 'cos the single room was pricey enough!). They didn't.

Mileage today 268. Total 1821.

Tuesday 9th

The hotel Pratigiana looks uninspiring form the outside but the shell of the building must be pretty ancient. It's plain but has a comfortable and welcoming atmosphere that drew me back to it. It's got a village inn feel; local farmers come here to drink and chat; I'm a stranger in a strange land -outside their world but also just a little bit in it. The hotel is on Splugen's high street and I captured the sounds of the rush hour traffic from my bedroom window.

8:30 start.

Weather looking hopeful first thing but sky soon turned dull grey. Splugen pass with cows in the road not moving aside for cars or bikes. Grey sky and powdering of fresh snow makes it feel wintry. Chiavenna then south and east to Sondrio. Horrible roads -slow, many trucks chucking out diesel smoke, few passing places. A long way through broad valleys with ugly towns. May have looked better with the sun shining. Things improved after Sondrio as the route got higher. Turned off at Tresenda for the Aprica pass. Looking back down the valley there seemed to be a thick smoggy layer; perhaps it was the weather conditions but it hadn't felt good riding through it. Not a high pass but pretty with lots of deciduous trees and an enjoyable road to pretty Edolo. Browning leaves show where frost has already bitten -definite feel of autumn here. Up to Tonale pass -lots of ski slopes and ugly buildings in the pass then a long slow drop down towards Bolzano. Took the Mendalo pass route. Stunning views all around -one of the best vantage points of the trip. Again not a high pass but full of fruit growing -who eats all those apples? -how come we never see Italian apples in the shops in Britain?.

Bolzano was another fume-ridden place. The grey sky had been getting heavier and as I left Bolzano it started raining. I was going a bit north then east into the Gardena pass. By the time I got to the bottom of the pass it was raining earnestly; by the time I got to the top it was pissing down. A real shame because there were hints of great spikey peaks through the clouds -I think this is the start of the Dolomites. Dropped down on the east of the pass to Corvara and found a room in a pension. Lovely old couple running it but we could only communicate in sign language. Borrowed a brolly and walked up to town for same food and beer from the supermarket.

My gloves were sopping and the backside of my trousers was starting to let it in but otherwise not too bad (2 hrs of heavy rain). My boots were more or less dry -position of the cylinders? aerodynamics? don't know. One thing for-sure, my face was black from those diesel-spewing trucks, like a coal merchant (do they still exist?)

Mileage today 232 Total 2053

Wednesday 10th

Dry and bright start -where did all the water from yesterday's downpour go? the roads were already dry!

Best room and breakfast so far and all for 23e -great value.

Clouds had lifted so went back up the few miles to the Gardena pass. From the glimpses through yesterday's rain I knew it would be good -just didn't know how good. On to Passo Campolongo. Bike was surging badly and backfiring on downhills with the throttle closed. Stopped to take a look at the throttle cables -maybe some grit in the cable guides? Nothing too obvious but it was a bit better after my ministrations -good enough to go on with.

Passo Falzarega -wow! the Gods must live somewhere near here. Bright sunshine and clear cold air; the views just get better and better. Cortina -unbelievably picturesque. Dobbiaca -a crossroads just before the Austrian border

Lienz. The front tyre was worn out and needed changing. I'd expected to have to do it sooner; it had been wearing in the centre of the tread more than on the shoulders. During the trip the wear on the shoulders caught up and finally overtook -you never really think about it but twisty roads maximize tyre life because you use all the tread. The old tyre was a Mez 2 and as far I can work out lasted about 7000 miles (the rear is a Michelin Macadam which went on about the same time and still has some way to go). This town was big enough to have bike tyres. Found a place that was a bit rough round the edges but very business-like. Workshops were in several freight containers. Took an hour but it was worth the stop -one less thing on my mind. Cost including fitting and balancing was e170 (£123) -a bit pricey by UK standards but not way off.

Aiming ot leave the alps by the end of the day and turned north to the Grossglockner pass. The road up to the pass was quiet and fast. Soon realized why it was quiet -there's a e17 (e17!) toll to go over the pass. If you can manage to blank out the toll from your memory then you won't be disappointed. This was the last high pass of my trip and weirdly it was like a grand finale -obligatory hairpins, glaciers, fresh snow, alpine meadows, moonscape rocky bits, sun-tipped jagged peaks on the horizon and the second highest of the passes visited (2500m). Unfortunately the camera was full up by this point.

Worked my way up to the A8 Munich - Salzburg under heavy grey skies. The only indication of crossing into Germany was a sign on the side of the road. Turned off after Rosenheim and found a gasthaus in leafy Bad Feilenbach just where the hills stop and the flat land begins. To the south a heavy blanket of cloud lay over the hills, the edge of it clearly following the boundary with the flat land.

The trip through the Dolomites was without doubt awe inspiring -the "must do" of any tour of the alps... and to think I nearly kept going west -maybe the expensive French beer was a sign...

Miles today 246; total 2299

Thursday 11th

Fairly disturbed night -very nice room but at the front of the hotel and poor soundproofing let traffic noise in. Overall another good hotel experience though. Another helpful landlord who made me put the bike under shelter in case it rained in the night.

It rained -weather forecast said showers. Landlord encouraged me to delay leaving a while to let it clear. Left at 11:00. The rain had eased and ten miles later the roads were relatively dry -obviously the localized effect of the hills. Spent most of the rest of the day on the A8 and A6, the same route I took on the way down. Much of the journey was chilly, under grey skies, with a blustery headwind from the northwest. Roads that seemed quiet on the southward journey were full of traffic, trucks doing 60mph in the inner lane; cars doing 100mph in the outer. Started looking for a place to stay around 5:00pm. Finally found somewhere about 6:30 in a place called Landstuhl near Mannesheim. At 62 euros for b+b not the cheapest of hotels but what a room! This would be twice the price at home.

The town appeared to be completely dead at 7:00pm. Wandered around on foot until I spotted a gloomy looking old hotel -just the job, it was a kind of German Weatherspoons.

Ramstein up the road has a big US air force base and Landstuhl has a US military hospital. With so many English speakers in the area it's relatively easy to communicate with the locals. Couldn't help noticing it's Sept 11th as I caught the roar and sight of a B52 taking off.

Time to get home. The bike went well today but is sounding a bit rough. Don't know if I'm just too close to it but I'm hearing all the clatters -cam chains, gearbox, rough idling...

Mileage today: 336 Miles so far: 2635

Friday 12th

An unexpectedly sunny morning! Early autumn in the air. Slept well and can't get over the quality of the hotel room. Roads are much less congested than further south; enjoyable riding up towards Luxembourg. The area around the river Saar is supposed to have lots of heavy industry -true, there's one or two steelworks but from the autobahn it looks like they're in the middle of a forest... having had my impressions of industrial landscapes shaped by places like Port Talbot this seems out of place. Either way the industry hasn't ruined or dominated the landscape.

Stopped in the Mosel area for a sunny break -grey clouds away to the north. Sat in a layby and read my book for an hour in warm September sunshine -heaven.

Luxembourg won the prize for the cheapest fuel hands down (actually I got the impression that Luxembourg is a motorway services). Belgium was cloudy then damp then pissing down. The RS fairing gets more effiicient at diverting the rain when it's moving a bit. Stayed fairly dry :-). It brightened up as I got to France. After some miles with a blustery east wind it dried up again and was a fine afternoon by the time I arrived at Dunkerque.

I had a ticket for the 7:30pm sailing but hoped to be able to get on the one before it. I hadn't made a note of how to get back to the ferry port having spent an hour wandering round the town looking for it I missed the earlier boat buy about a half hour. The 2 hrs waiting time soon passed much of it chatting to a nice chap with an XJR1300 -also returning from the alps. He'd had a "mixed" experience, having spent some time in a tent in a thunderstorm in Italy and then dropping his bike on a bend in Austria.

Fine moonlit evening in the UK; made Dover to Cardiff in 3.5hrs including a fuel stop. In the house with a beer in hand by 12:20. Mileage today 620 (!) Total door to door 3255... must be time for an oil change -and definitely time for a throttle sync.

Things learned and opinions formed

Weather

I had the pleasure of enjoying a wide range of weather conditions: muggy cloud and sun, fresh cloud and sun, clear blue skies, cold and grey, low cloud, rain, pissing down, effin' pissin' down, fresh snow within a thousand feet and variants of all the above. It's a motorcycle trip so expect the worst -but probably no worse than you'd expect in Britian... and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Accommodation, ferries, beer, fags, petrol...

I can recommend Norfolk Line; more than met my expectations, nothing to complain about at all. Their main business has been in freight but they are trying to grow the passenger side. Got the feeling they are the RyanAir of cross-channel services -cheaper than the competition but on the French side operating from what's essentially a container port several miles west of Dunkerque. And none the worse for it.

No complaints about hotels either. Europe is full of places to stay; in September there's no problem finding a vacancy. Avoid chains when you can. Go for the gasthouses and pensions. All unique, lovely people, proper breakfasts.

Aimed to stay in guesthouses and low / mid range hotels but didn't go out of my way to find the cheapest. No bad experiences, only one place said they had no vacancies (wet bikers not welcome?). Best value was e23 (£16.50) for a double room, en suite, TV and breakfast in the middle of the Dolomites. Most sumptuous and expensive was e62 (£44.60) for a studio with double bed, lounge area, satellite tv, bathroom from ideal home and breakfast in Landstuhl (near Saarbrucken). Average price was £29 per night.

Hotel proprietors were all unbelievably helpful. Nobody said "have a nice day"; nobody said "is your meal ok?"; everyone showed genuine interest and concern.

Beer is over priced in France. In Germany and Austria it's in the same category as bread and potatoes. Switzerland and Italy are in between.

Give or take a few eurons petrol was e1.1 a litre ( 79.2p) in France, Germany and Switzerland. Austria was cheaper at about e0.95 (68.4p). Best of all was Luxembourg at e0.81 (58.3p) -and you have to join the queue to fill up.

As far as I can see Switzerland is a dual currency country. Euros are accepted just about everywhere -though you may get change in Swiss francs. (Betting on the exchange rate?)

I don't smoke so I can't comment on the fags.

Roads, route and riding

In no particular order...

Take this ride and you'll get the lot -motorways, autobahns, A roads, B roads, cobbled tracks, sweeping curves, hairpins.
The A4 through Belgium is a nice ride on a fine morning.
Enjoyable riding on Italian A roads to the south of Tirol is an oxymoron.
Enjoyable riding on Swiss, Austrian and A roads that were formerly Austrian can be expected most of the time.
Don't bother going west of Grimsel pass (there's a fairly boring bit then France begins).
Don't bother going south of Chiavenna (you're on Italian A roads).
Do go to the Gardena, Falzarega and Grossglockner passes -heaven on earth.
If you like mixing it with streams (hundreds) of other bikers then Friday, Saturday and Sunday are good. Other days the roads are quiet.
There are plenty of stupid bikers in the Alps.
Closest shaves (note plural) were during lane changing on the autobahn. Traffic in the inner lane is typically doing 60mph. The outer lane is typically at 85mph; when it's quiet expect >100mph. Golden rule: remember to look over your shoulder before changing lanes!
If you have time then avoid making too much of a plan. Keep looking at the map and choosing the next destination as you go.

Bike

3rd gear on a BMW was designed for going up alpine passes; 2nd was designed for going round the hairpins.
Bring your old (air-cooled) boxer to the alps and you'll be in good company.
A boxer GS of any vintage is the two wheeled tool of choice on alpine roads.
The RS fairing gets a lot more effective at deflecting rain when you're going at speed.
Average mpg ever 3255 miles was 46.3.

Tools and gadgets

Without doubt the real first place went to the 1100RS but after that...

1st place: HP iPAQ (sorry, this is one place where I am associated with a business being mentioned). I normally struggle to find a good use for personal organisers but this won the prize for the most useful gadget of the trip. Keep a diary, work out your route, keep track of costs -just the job as long as you can find a place to charge it up regularly.
2nd place: Swiss army knife for getting the tops off beer bottles, clipping my toenails and makng sandwiches.
3rd place: Heated grips and thermal liners for my summerweight gloves; chicken soup for the soul.
And the special achievement award goes to: My one and only map - the Eurocamp 1993 map of Europe without which I'd have been lost a lot more often.